Learn to be Lonely
by OtakuJugs
Summary: one shot. Sesshomaru has dreamed of a ravenhaired angel since childhood. When his father forces him to marry, he despairs. but then...could she be his angel!


**Learn To Be Lonely**  
A/N:  
AKI IS BAACK! so here's what happened. after promising the lemon in All's Fair, Aki-chan got a _SERIOUS_ case of writer's block. When she got her Gmail account (which, by the way, ROCKS) she proceeded to delete her Yahoo account and after forgetting her pw to her account, was unable to retrieve it and so decided to make a new one. Thus OTAKUJUGS was born! (actually, where the nick-name came from is another funny story and if you REALLY want to know ask in a review, but alas, i digress...) so NO, this is not plagerism. I can no longer write under the penname Sesshiskoishii, gomen, TELL YOUR FRIENDS! also, Aki has WONDERFUL news: She's actually taking Japanese this year! also, her family is hosting a Japanese exchange student (Ehara Karin) this 06-07 school year so MY JAPANESE SHALL BE PERFECT! YOSH! any questions regarding Japanese vocabulary can also be added to a review, or just emailed to me. Remember, kids! reviews make us update FASTER! (also, aki has learned that it is wise to have your story planned out before you start to write it...--U Gomen nasai to my All's Fair readers) So! more stories! yay! ALSO, I would like to point out that all my fics that are going up have been re-edited. (cause LO-CHAN is a TERRIBLE editor. she can only fix TECHNICAL errors, but she's no good at fixing _content_! lo-chan promptly bashes aki's skull in

aki:...i...tai...

DISCLAIMER: If I owned Sesshoumaru, he would always wear tight leather pants, and he would be my own personal se--Lo-chan beats aki on the head with a bat NOBODY WANTS TO KNO THAT AKI.

Aki: oh yeah...hehe...gomen U ano...anyways...

don't own InuYasha (all characters ©Rumiko Takahashi)

don't own "Learn to be Lonely" (words and music ©Andrew Lloyd Webber)

ON WITH THE SHOW! er...I mean...FAN FIC!

Lo: tch. stupid theater freak.

* * *

_The little boy looked at the woman. She was beautiful, she looked divine. "Are you an angel?" he asked._

_The raven-haired beauty giggled. "No, but you should save yourself for me, okay"_

_"What do you mean, save myself for you? What's your name, pretty lady?" more giggles._

_"I can't tell you that." She smiled that dazzling smile, then began to fade. The little boy tried to chase after her, to grab onto her retreating frame but she was fading too fast._

_"But how will I know it's you!" He stumbled and fell. "Trust me, you'll know." She faded completely._

Then, Sesshoumaru woke up.

He had the same dream for the next 20 years.

* * *

Sesshoumaru sat at the bar of one of the smaller establishments in town and looked down into his empty glass. emphasis on _empty_. THAT had to change. He held up his glass in a silent request for more alcohol, calling the bartender, a rotund and jolly old man with a strange mustache, over to oblige him. The bartender looked at the handsome youth and wondered what such a man, who was obviously rich and in his prime, doing at this dingy old bar this late at night on a friday Now, this particular bartender had a knack for sensing the troubles of his less-than happy patrons, and proceeded to pry, as he always did.

"Girl trouble?" Sesshoumaru snorted, downed his shot, and placed the glass back on the counter. He was ready with a tart reply, but the softer side of him knew that the man was just trying to help. "Hn. I guess you could say that." The old man poured the handsome stranger another shot and pulled up a stool he kept behind the counter for just this reason. "Wanna tell old Myouga about it?" Again Sesshoumaru snorted. He didn't _want_ to tell the irritating old man anything, but again, that small, kind part of him interfered. "Not really, but you'll probably demand an explanation anyways." The old man smiled and sat down, prepared to help yet another drunk with his lovelife.

Unfortunatly for him, Sesshoumaru was _not_ just another drunk.

"My father is Inunotaishou, President of Inuyoukai, Inc., a multi-billion dollar company. To expand said company, my father secretly arranged marriages for myself and that bastard half-breed of a brother. Fortunatly for _InuYasha_, he is already dating the woman he is to marry. The girl just happens to have a twin sister, and so My father arranged for me to marry the older of the two so as to merge the two companies after the death of our fathers, leaving the merged companies in dual ownership between InuYasha and I." After his long-winded explanation, Sesshoumaru drank some more of the sweet burning liquid, appreciating the distraction from his inner turmoil. "...And? why is this such a bad thing?"Myouga was curious and couldn't see anything wrong with the situation. "Tch. I am far to busy to be tied down to a woman. I don't need a wife." Sesshoumaru didn't give the _real_ reason for his objections to the marriage. if he did the man would probably call some assylum to have him committed. But he couldn't forget his Angel...not when he saw her every night, saw her still.

"So what's the problem? If you're so busy, you'll never be home, so you won't have to deal with her. She can't be THAT bad...can she?" Sesshoumaru thought for a moment, then replied evenly "I don't know. I've never met her. but she cannot live up to my standards." Myouga's eyebrows flew up to meet his receding hairline. "My my, aren't we cocky? Are your standards really that high?" Sesshomaru gave him an icy glare, and was about to respond when he heard a familiar voice, so sad, singing.

_Child of the Wilderness,  
Born into emptiness,  
Learn to be lonely,  
Learn to find your way in darkness_

'That voice...I know I've heard it before'Sesshoumaru was afraid to turn around, to see, to recognize.

_Who will be there for you?  
Comfort and care for you?  
Learn to be lonely,  
Learn to be your one companion_

'Her voice, so laced with sorrow...so sad...' He _knew_ he recongized that voice...and that although he'd heard it before, never had it been sad...her voice had always bubbled with laughter...

_Never dream that out in the world,  
There are arms to hold you.  
You've always known Your heart was on it's own_

Sesshomaru knew he had to see. had to confirm it with his eyes, his mind. He turned towards the direction the voice was comming from, a meager little stage featuring a petite woman in an oh-so-slight blue. Then he saw her face and froze.

_So laugh in your loneliness  
Child of the Wilderness  
Learn to be Lonely  
Learn how to love life that is lived alone_

It HAD to be her.. She looked just as she always had...the raven hair, the white skin...those impossibly blue eyes...

_Learn to be lonely,  
Life can be lived,  
Life can be loved,  
Alone._

_Alone_. The last word of her song reverberated in his head as he got lost in her sapphire orbs. It HAD to be her... the angel from his dreams! So... why was she so sad?

As the last chord from the accoustic guitar and piano faded, the girl took a slight and graceful bow as she recieved her applause, then walked off stage. Sesshoumaru quickly turned to the man behind the bar. "That woman...who is she!" Myouga's jaw nearly fell out of his head. The kid showed _emotion_! Unsure as to how to respond, Myouga looked confused at The amber-eyed prince before him. Sesshoumaru's eyes pleaded as he leaned in to talk to the man. "Please...Myouga-san...tell me who she is..." Seeing that the man was sincere and didn't seem likely to hurt the girl, Myouga relented. "Don't know her name, she's new. But I know she's some kindof runnaway. I heard that her parents had arranged some sort of marriage for her, too, but that she was in love with someone else..." Sesshoumaru's face contorted with pain at the last words from the older man's mouth, but seemed to compose himself after a bit. "D-did you hear who? As in...who she... loved?" Myouga barely supressed a chuckle. Quite an interesting man, this one. "Funny story that. I don't quite remember details, but I remember something about an angel and dreams. I dunno." Sesshoumaru practically jumped out of his stool "Where can I find her!" Myouga considered not telling the youth, but seeing the fire in his eyes chose his life instead. "Backstage entrance, 2nd door on the right." Sesshoumaru quickly placed a $50 on the bar and shouted as he ran "Keep the Change!"

* * *

"I want to Change the world Jounetsu tayasazu ni, takanaru mirai e Te wo nobaseba, kagayakeru hazu sa It's wonderland"

(it's InuYasha's Ringtone, LMAOEN: u just had to stick that in their aki. U and that song hehe...gomen, lo-chan U)

"Moshi moshi"

"Where is your brother!" Inunotaishou barked to his youngest son.

InuYasha rolled his eyes. "wow, Dad, love you too."

"'InuYasha..." The older man growled at his son as his frustration grew. 'WHY can I NEVER find that boy when I need him!'

"I know, I know...we must respect our elders, blah blah blah... Anyways, I don't know where Sesshomaru is. He said he was going out, and he hasn't been back yet. You know him, he stays out till last call" InuYasha hoped his dad didn't send him on a wild-sesshoumaru chase.

"Well, you better find him, there's something important he has to hear about his Fiancée." 'Oh, he'll be thrilled about that one..' InuYasha thought.

"Sure, Dad, whatever. Bye." InuYasha grabbed his jacket and his keys and went out to find his troublesome Aniki.

* * *

Kagome sighed. As she was singing, she'd thought she'd seen her angel, sitting in the back. She'd bowed and looked back as she was walking off the stage but the handsome stranger was no where to be found. She wondered if maybe she'd end up dying a spinster. 'Now you stop that, Kagome! You promised him you'd wait, that you'd save yourself. If you hadn't believed him, then you'd have dated that Kouga boy in Highschool.' She shook herself out of her unhappy thoughts for what must've been the thousandth time and began to tidy up her few belongings.

KNOCK, KNOCK

"Go _away_, Naraku! how many times have I told you, I'm NOT going to go out with you!" Kagome did not like that man. He gave her the creeps. He was always trying ot trap her in corners and make dirty propositions. He would always try to be seductive, but it turned out just being creepy. Plus the guy had some serious eyeliner application issues. And he didn't know how to use a _brush._

"I'm not Naraku, whoever that is." Kagome froze. she knew that voice. That seductive, deep voice that sounded like velvet personified... It was him. Her angel. But...what if it wasn't? what if she was disapointed again? But Kagome knew that he would be worth it. Somehow, she knew, so she hurried to the door, knocking some things over on her way. She turned the handle and pushed a little too hard, the door flying open as she stumbled out and lost her footing. She collided with something decently hard and very warm, and felt the thing's arms encircle her to keep her from falling. Her eyes made their way up the thing in front of her, noting the silk shirt, the creamy white skin of the neck, those sensuous lips, the angled, aristocratic nose, and finally, those gorgeous amber eyes. She could get lost in those eyes...

"Ahem"

Kagome blinked, the spell those eyes cast temporarily gone. Realizing what a comprimizing position she was in, Kagome hastily stepped back, instantly regretting the loss of warmth. She was blushing furiously as she backed through the door and bowed slightly. "Would you like to come in...ano..." Realizing she did not know his name, Kagome looked up appologetically as she left the question hanging. Sesshoumaru smirked and bowed slightly in response "Sesshoumaru. Taishou Sesshoumaru." Kagome loved the sound of his name...so powerful, yet so elegant...Sesshoumaru. Killing Perfection. It suited him. He then extended his hand in a western form of greeting, Kagome extending her own to complete what she assumed to be a handshake. "Higurashi Kagome.oh!" she blushed as she felt those soft sensuous lips graze her skin as he bowed over her hand. "It's...a pleasure to meet you, Taiyoukai-san..." Kagome said breathlessly. "Please, call me Sesshomaru. And the pleasure is all mine, Kagome-san." She nearly MELTED when he said her name. She stepped inside her door and bowed. "Se-sesshoumaru-san...douzo agatte. Please, come in."

Sesshoumaru could tell that the girl was unused to such informal speach. She held herself like a Lady, and spoke like a Princess. She was obviously accustomed to a much higher standard of living, and Sesshoumaru suspected that she was the daughter of some government official or another family-owned corporation like his own. Such a delicate flower did not belong in this trash-heap. He looked around the small, cramped room with distaste, promising to himself that this angel would never have to set foot in conditions like this again.

Kagome looked around her room and noticed how unkepmt it looked."Gomen for the mess, I-I just got here..." Sesshomaru looked up when he heard a bit of anger and lots of sadness in her voice."Yes...The bartender, Myouga-san...he said that you ranaway, because of an arranged marriage..." Kagome looked away and let her bangs cover much of her face. She appeared for the most part to be fighting back anger, but then Sesshoumaru noticed the single tear snake it's way down her porceline skin. Immediatly he was by her side, wanting to hold her and take away her pain. "Ano...Kagome...Daijobou ka?" Kagome could hear the concern in his voice and could no longer hold back the tears. She turned to him and sobbed. Alarmed by this display, Sesshomaru gently placed his arms around her, comforting her. He felt her turn into him and lean against his chest, sobbing into his shirt. He ran his hand down her hair, muttering soft nothings to calm her. After about a minute her sobs quieted, and she just let him support her. "Sesshomaru-san..." "Sesshoumaru." he corrected gently. "ano..Sesshoumaru...can I ask you something?"

"Anything, Kagome"

"Are you my angel?"

* * *

Sesshomaru froze.

"What...what did you say?" Kagome hastily pulled away, looking down at the floor as if embarrassed. She was very afraid to go on. what if the handsome stranger thought she was crazy? what if he wasn't her angel? but she HAD to try! He was worth it. Her angel was worth it.

"Are you the angel from my dreams? I-I know this sounds strange, but...ever since I was a little girl, I've had these dreams of a silver-haired, amber-eyed angel...he told me to wait, to save myself for him, and...and I did..." Seeing Sesshomaru's shocked face, Kagome turned away. It hurt, that look on his face. Of course he would think she was crazy. All she could do now was try to save face."...Never mind. Forget it..." Finally breaking the hold that shock had on him, Sesshomaru gently grasped her arms and turned her towards him. The girl refused to look at him, but he placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head, shocking her into looking up at him

"Actually…it doesn't sound crazy at all...I...I've had the same dream. Ever since I was a boy, I've dreamed of a raven-haired angel with the deepest blue eyes I've ever seen...and she told me to save myself for her. Are you my angel, Kagome?" The two searched each other's eyes for what seemed like an eternity, until finally Kagome smiled.

"It IS you...I knew it..." And for the first time in a long while, Sesshomaru smiled too. He leaned his head down just as she raised her's, and he kissed her. Kagome instantly slid her eyes closed. 'Oh, man, this is AMAZING...' Sesshoumaru gently ran his tongue along her bottom lip, a soft beg for entrance. complying with his wishes, Kagome opened her mouth to his explorations. 'She tastes so sweet...' he thought. After a good deal of even better kissing, they broke apart and smiled at each other. As He gazed down into her beautiful eyes, Sesshoumaru noticed with distress that his Kagome had a tear brewing in her eye once again. Did she regret having kissed him? having told him everything? Did she not want his love?

"Why are you crying?" At his words Kagome couldn't help but smile.

"Because I'm happy"

* * *

InuYasha walked into what he guessed was the last bar in town. He'd been looking for his brother all night and he was getting sick of it. 'I swear if he's not in this one I'll call the police and have THEM find him' Noting how few people were still in the pub this late, he went over to the bar. There was only one sober person in this room other than himself, and that would be the bartender. Besides, a man as conspicuous as his Aniki would be remembered. "Ano sa, ano sa! excuse me, Mr...?" The barkeep looked up and paled ever so slightly. 'Oh god, not another one' He hoped this one wasn't as cold and scary as the other one."Myoga. My name is Myoga"

"Well, Myoga-san, you wouldn't happen to have seen a guy in here who looked kind of like me except taller and with lighter hair, would you?"  
"Backstage, 2nd door on the right." InuYasha breathed a sigh of relief. He really didn't want to have gone to the police.  
"Thanks, gramps." He took a $50 out of his pocket and put it on the counter. "For all your help. " Then walked towards the backstage entrance. Myouga let out a little whoop. The first man hadn't had more than $10 on his tab, so most of the 50 went straight to Myouga. It was his lucky day!

InuYasha saw the 2nd door was open and made his way over to it. He poked his head insidejust in time for his jaw to fall to the floor. His Aniki, the one who had always refused the most beautiful dates in school, the Super Models throwing themselves at him, the Rich daughters of even richer buisnessmen, and refused to even MEET his Fianceé, had his arms wrapped around a very very plain slip of a woman. When they broke apart, InuYasha noticed her eyes. They were an incredible shade of blue. The girl looked so familiar to him, he was positive he'd seen her before. but he couldn't remember where...As he watched, a tear appeared in one of her incredible eyes."Why are you crying?" His brother said in a voice that InuYasha had never heard him use before."Because I'm happy." the girl replied. InuYasha decided that he better break this up before they began kissing again, or he'd never get Sesshoumaru on the phone with their otou-san.

"Ahem"

Sesshomaru whirled around, pushing Kagome behind him in a protective positino as if to shield her from whatever might be in the door. "InuYasha! What are you doing here?"

"Dad called. He says there's something you need to know about your Fianceé." At that last word Sesshomaru paled, quickly turning to face Kagome. She had the most stricken look on her face, like her whole world had just been ripped to pieced before her very eyes.

"Fi...Fi... Fianceé?" Sesshomaru, managed to catch her as it seemed that her knees had gone out.

"Kagome!"

She had fainted.

* * *

Sesshomaru picked her up very gently and looked around the room, placing her on what he assumed was her bed. After setting her down, he smoothed her bangs away from her face and kissed her forehead tenderly. After ensuring Kagome's safety, Sesshoumaru turned to his brother with a glare that promised death.

"Well...I guess you didn't tell her that you were engaged." InuYasha would've said more, but Sesshoumaru looked ready to kill."That's because I am NOT going to marry that woman, whoever she is." Sesshomaru sighed, and InuYasha saw, for the first time, the person who his brother was. Not who his brother pretended to be, the man under the mask. And right now, that man was in alot of emotional pain. "InuYasha... you know how I always had the same dream, every night? And I tried to explain it to you once?"  
InuYasha was confused.What did some dream babe have to do with Kagome? "yeah...and?"Sesshoumaru had to restrain himself from smacking his dobe brother. Sometimes InuYasha was too stupid for his own good."In my dreams, I saw an angel. She had long, silky raven-black hair and beautiful sapphire eyes. She asked me to save myself for her, and I said I would. Before I told Kagome about those dreams, she told me that she had dreams about an angel. He had Silver hair and amber eyes. Now, I've had the same dreams. I KNOW this is her. And she says I'm her angel. I promised I would save myself for her and she promised she would save herself for me." Sesshoumaru paused as he considered the consequences of what he was about to tell his baby brother. "I...I think I love her, 'Yash..."

InuYasha was shocked. InuYasha was shocked that a.) his aniki had just used his nickname and that b.) his aniki had just admitted to loving someone. But just at that moment, the girl on the bed began to stir.Sesshomaru rushed to her side and held her hand. He took it as a good sign that she squeezed back. She opened her eyes slowly and when she saw Sesshomaru, her eyes opened instantly. "Am I dreaming again? Angel, is that you?" Sesshomaru smiled again, and looked down at the beautiful girl, his beautiful Kagome.  
"Maybe. It's me, Sesshomaru, Kagome. And no, you're not dreaming." As the memories slowly came back, she smiled, then, all of a sudden, her smile turned to a pained look of betrayal. She sat up and pulled her hand out of his, hastily looking away from him. If she'd had any tears left, shed've cried them right there.

"I..If you were my angel...then...then you wouldn't be engaged!" He tried to help her up and out of the bed, but she began to beat her hands against his chest."No! Let me Go! Get away from me! Liar!" Sesshoumaru was obviously in pain, but InuYasha could tell that it wasn't her fists that were hurting his brother, it was her words. He wrapped his arms around her, and she stopped beating him and just collapsed, exhausted onto him for the second time that night. Again he began stroking her hair, whispering to her. "Kagome...It's not what you think. It's an arranged marriage, and I have no intention of going through with it. I never have. Also, I've heard that the girl was already in love with someone else and doesn't want to go through it either." Kagome looked up with renewed hope at the man of her dreams. Litterally.

"...Really?" He looked down and smiled at her."Really." She smiled at him, happy that it was just a misunderstanding and ecstatic and finally having him. They were about to embrace again when a noise disturbed everyone in the room.

"I want to Change the world Jounetsu tayasazu ni, takanaru mirai e Te wo nobaseba, kagayakeru hazu sa It's wonderland"

InuYasha took out his phone and opened it. "Moshi moshi"

"Yeah...I'm still looking for him, dad. I don't know where he went. Usually I would have found him by now." InuYasha winked at his brother and winked, and for the first time in history, Sesshomaru smiled a genuine smile to his little brother."What! Are you serious? Ran away, huh? How's Kikyo taking it? Now that I think about it, those two were really close... she's ok? good. yeah. definatly. when I find him, I'll tell him. Yeah. Goodnight, dad." After he hung up, InuYasha fell to the ground laughing.

"InuYasha, just WHAT is so funny?" Sesshoumaru was annoyed. Incredibly happy, but annoyed. "Ano...InuYasha-san...You mentioned a girl named Kikyou?At the sound of the girl's name, InuYasha calmed down just enough to say that she was ok, and refusing to tell her grandmother about where her twin sister is. Kagome gave a barely noticeable sigh of relief, but InuYasha saw it and started laughing again.  
"InuYasha,WHAT is so funny!" Snapped Sesshoumaru.InuYasha stood up. "Father will LOVE this""InuYasha... Do you want to become a punching bag again or are you going to tell us what has you laughing like a hyena?" InuYasha couldn't help but notice how much his brother sounded like their father when he got annoyed."Sesshomaru, don't threaten your brother!" Kagome scolded playfully.  
"Oh, and now you're trying to scold me, are you?" Kagome giggled and Sesshomaru leaned down and stole yet another kiss from her.

For once, InuYasha noticed something that his "Tensai" older brother didn't. something so incredibly obvious that he just couldn't see."Sesshomaru, Kagome, do the math"

Sesshomaru and kagome thought for a little bit, then their eyes got really big. "Kagome, you said... you ran away from an arranged marriage.""Yeah...and my sister Kikyo promised not to tell where I went..." Then they both smiled. Kagome began to laugh, a bell-like giggle that Sesshoumaru knew he wanted to hear much, much more of. So he picked up his cell phone, and speed-dialed his father.

"Moshi moshi."

"Father"

"Sesshoumaru! Where have you been? Your brother's been out looking for you"

"Father, he just found me, that's part of the reason I'm calling"

"Oh? Then what's the other part"

"I've decided to willingly go through with the engagement"  
"...'  
Sesshoumaru laughed. "Yes, father, I have. And I've found my Fianceé. In fact, she's right here. Would you like to say hello to your future father-in-law, Kagome?"  
Kagome "eep!"ed and put a pillow in her face but Sesshoumaru kissed her out of it. "He's actually very nice, Kagome."

"Ano...Konbanwa, Inunotaisho-sama. Hajimemashite. It's nice to...er...speak to you"Inunotaisho laughed.

"and you as well, Kagome. But please, call me dad"

"Alright...dad"

"Wonderful! Well, Kagome, you should call your father and tell him that you've agreed to the marriage, too"

"I will, dad. Oyasumi Nasai."

"Oyasumi Nasai, Kagome"

"Father"

"Yes, Sesshoumaru?"

"I think...I understand now. Why...why you divorced mom"

"...Thank you, Sesshomaru. That means more to me than you think"

"Oyasumi, father"

"Oyasumi, Sesshoumaru"

click.

InuYasha was still chuckling in the corner, and now kagome's interest was piqued. "Really, InuYasha, it wasn't _that_ funny..." InuYasha smiled. "No, it's just that I knew I recognized you. I've only been to Kikyo's house once with her, but you were there. you were just dressed differently, and had different hair, and were quiet." Kagome laughed, but was silenced once again by Sesshoumaru claiming her mouth in a gentle kiss.

"I guess this is Happily-ever-after, huh?" she asked when he finally let her breathe.Sesshoumaru snorted. "for the most part. Ow!" She punched him in the arm. Happily-ever-after? yeah right. ;P

* * *

A/N This is my first one shot, so..Critique welcome.  
PLEASE R&R. I WILL BE FOREVER IN YOUR DEBT Lazy Aki-chan (Once again not running her fics through Lo-chan, her editor dodges item thrown by Lo-chan)  
Lo: dam u and ur random capitols. But there were less in this fic then alls fair. U still need 2 update that. Why r u wearing pants? The next chap MUST have that quote.  
Aki: XD yes. maybe. i dunno. but You're STILL a terrible editor!XP NYAH! 


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